8/1/09

I continued reading the Grief Recovery Handbook today. I can relate to a lot of the stuff they talk about in there.

Today was another blissful day. There weren’t enough canoes during the morning session for me to go out, so I stayed at camp with Jenny, Lucinda, and the girls. We got in the water and floated around on some pool floats and inner tubes. I had several dragonflies land on me. One had pretty blue eyes and when it landed its wings were together. Another one was a less delicate one with brown eyes and wings. I also had two that seemed to be joined together land on me; but I don’t think they were truly one because one was a blue-ish purple and the other was a pea green. While floating around Jenny discovered a fresh-water jelly fish! A passing coanoer explained to us that it’s actually f fish egg sack. They’re usually attached to trees underwater, but that one had come loose. After a lunch of sandwiches and chips Alex, Cody, and Nate went to ride in Sam’s motor boat. Actually, they were going tubing. Lucinda and Amy both told me how excited Alex was about it. I was glad because I had to make him get out of a canoe to go. He had been upset with me because this was a CANOEING trip, and a motor-boat doesn’t qualify as a canoe! I need to thank Amy and Sam for giving Alex this experience. While Alex was gone I took the canoe out solo. It was harder to navigate a large canoe solo than a duckie. I went farther than Alex and I had gone yesterday. It was just as beautiful, but it wasn’t as enjoyable as sharing it with someone I love. Grant paddled his duckie along with me, and I was thankful for that company. I don’t know if I would have gone so far if I had been totally alone. After we got back the scouts played in the lake near the camp; splashing, dunking, all of the wonderful things of summer. While the boys were building the fire, a camper from the next site came over to make sure we knew about the bear that tried to get into the tent which was set up last weekend where Dwayne and Jenny’s tent was. He came over about 5-10 minutes later to show us thunderstorms coming in on the radar. While eating supper, we made the tents more secure, gathered the life-jackets and oars, disposed of refuse, flipped the canoes over so they would not fill up with water (my idea), and picked up camp. Amy was too scared to stay for the storms so the Hargroves left and Cameron went with them because his mommy wanted him home! Doesn’t she realize boys need the experiences of camping in the rain too? It was 8:45 before the rain hit. I took a Stephen King book to my tent and read a little before going to sleep. There aren’t many better things to do than reading during a thunderstorm. After I finished the short story and turned off the flashlight, I lay there all alone in the tent; no one to talk to or cuddle up with. I don’t know if I’ll ever have someone to share my tent, so I’ll just be thankful for the day and the fun.

7/31/08

Today I took off work early and went home and cooked Taco soup, then Alex and I went to pick up cody cienkus and we went to Parksville Lake to camp and canoe with the Boy Scouts. Dwayne and Jenny were already there with Josh and his little sister & her friend. I was not informed that this was a family camp-out. Oh well. The boys about got my big tent set up when we discovered that while it was at Deana’s that the things at the bottom that secure the poles were torn off. Luckily Dwayne had some troop tents along so I could sleep in one of those. Since we arrived early, Alex and I took a canoe and went exploring. It is beautiful up here, and Alex commented on that more than once. I hope he remembers that trip in years to come. I feel blessed to be able to give him an experience like this. Other people didn’t start arriving until 8:30…and they were setting up camp when I decided to call it a night at 9:15.

Together cards

A co-worker is getting married this weekend, and I told them at work I would make the card. I made a tri-fold card with the Scor-pal according to the dimensions (kind of), and then decided to make it one inch larger because the word-on-word stamp I wanted to use was too big for that one. Then after I had finished it, I decided that there wasn't enough room for several people to sign it, so I made a different card with lots of room inside for people to sign. I used Basic Grey "Sultry" pp. I also used pp in that collection for the envelopes, and blinged the envelopes too :D

Secrets

Today has been a roller coaster ride. I got up and put in a load of laundry and started working on the Leopard Lounge Circle Journal pages. When I was putting the 2nd load of laundry in the dryer, I found my cell phone in the bottom of the washing machine...I should have given up then and there. So I look on Craig's list to see if there are any t-mobile phones for sale on there...knew I should have snatched a couple when I saw them for $20. No such luck this morning, so I called T-Mobile to find out what my contract status is...and Alex's is up in Dec 2009, mine is up in April 2010, and Mishal's is up in 2011. But then the customer service rep starts talking about how I don't use hardly any of my extra (non fave 5) minutes, so I could get a cheaper plan if I only sign a new 2-year contract...and I told her if I did that, I'd want to get a new phone too. She told me that signing a new contract would not have any affect on me getting a new phone. I told her about how I'd found mine in the bottom of the washing machine, and she said she'd done that too...so she hooked me up...since I've been such a loyal customer for 9 years, she waived a few fees and got me a new phone for less than $60, and a new calling plan that will save me $10/month. And then on my lunch break, I called and got another new phone for Alex's line at the same price. I figured that way, we have a back-up when something happens to one of them. So I was feeling pretty good until I got an e-mail from Donna that Grandma had died this morning. I called and let Mary Rose and Tammy know.

Anthony told me to go on home for the rest of the day, and let him know if I needed anything. I closed down all the programs on my computer and then pulled them back up again. As long as no one talked to me and told me how sorry they were or expressed sympathy, I didn't cry. I was able to work. I even made up the extra half hour when I made phone calls.

I stopped by the Wal-mart on Gunbarrell to pick up the i-pod accessory kit and to see if my new i-pod had come in yet...not yet, but maybe it will be there tomorrow.

I got home, and the clothes weren't washed or dried, and Alex had not packed ANYTHING for his trip. So we didn't go to the church for trunk inspection, so I've got to make extra sure he's got everything in there. I'm going to America's Thrift store tomorrow to get him a few pairs of shorts to take. I don't want him to take all his expensive ones.

So the big secret for the day is about Grandma dying. Since the kids are about to go out of town, I'm not telling them until they get back. I want them to enjoy their time away.

Tired

I have been staying up way too late the past few nights, and it is catching up with me. I acknowledge that I am extremely irritable. Aunt Flo doesn't help either. I almost fell asleep in a meeting today, and I rushed to get to the scout shop before 5 which is when they are supposed to close, but their door was locked when I got there 4 minutes before 5. So then I come home, and the kids have done ZERO house work. I've offered to pay them over $100 to clean the house, and it's not getting done, and I'm not going to do it for them, so the longer they procrastinate the worse it's going to get. I told them they are not allowed to go over to Deana's Friday if it's not done, and I'm not taking Mishal shopping on Saturday if it's not done. The house is driving me insane. Yeah, that's it, I'm going to blame my mental status on the mess. So I've taken some sleeping pills and will probably be asleep by 7 tonight.

Tonight I took Alex and his friend Peyton to the ball game. For some reason, Peyton could NOT keep still or keep his hands to himself. I guess he was very bored, and it must be Alex's time of the month because he was not very tolerant, and after Peyton hurt his finger, he didn't want anything to do with him. They made it hard for me to enjoy the game. But we survived. I told Alex tonight that there were a lot of times that I wonder when he's going to grow up, and then there are other times like tonight when I realize he is already more mature than some of his peers.

BTW...they didn't really want to pose with Looie, but I wanted the picture and didn't give them a choice.

June 1, 2009

Life is passing by too quickly. I feel the need to document it so that later I can remember....even if it is one picture a day and a sentence or two, which may be all I have time for.

Tonight was the Court Of Honor Ceremony for Troop 17. Alex was awarded his 1st class rank. I'm very proud of him. I dream of him getting his Eagle before he turns 16.